Monday - An UnHaPpY MaN

I am bored to the point where I am just feeling awful and stressed. Beautiful weekend spent rather unhappily. I am so stuck at this point. I don't know who to talk to or what really to do. I don't have any friends anymore. My wife is lovely and nice but we are so from two different planets. I don't like my family back home anymore. It seems like nobody is doing the right thing. Quite a disappointing and hopeless situation. Life has become just so meaningless at times. Monday morning and I feel like doing nothing, have no zest for anything, even though I have worked so hard last week or weeks before. I am in general fast and hard working person, but I am becoming so alienated. In general I don’t feel good about anything, I don’t like anything anymore and I surely don’t enjoy anything. We went to this festival and I was just feeling tense all the time. May be I should go back to medication but I am even scared to take medicine. Sometimes I strongly feel that I am living a lie. My feelings are so mixed up, my emotions are so dismantled and yet I have to perform my daily duties day in and day out.
I know I have those sick more obsessive and less compulsive traits.. like thoughts stuck in my head, like a guy who owes me some money but wont give it to me, and will keep lying to me and If I go "give me ma fucking money", he will start threating me for threatening .. or the thought that my car is not fixed and will never get fixed.. I like things to be well defined and straight otherwise i go bananas.
In short I am a very unhappy man. I have everything but a sound brain to be happy. I want to have some fun. I want to enjoy and relax and all that crap.